


Never Have I Ever

by hjcallipygian



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, F/M, Post-Chosen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-23
Updated: 2005-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1845841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjcallipygian/pseuds/hjcallipygian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Scoobies get a night together to just hang out and play a game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Buffy, Willow, and Xander are approximately 30 or so. Everyone else's age moves accordingly.
> 
> So, this story is kind of for a lot of different people. The Scooby friendship is for [](http://singer-d.livejournal.com/profile)[**singer_d**](http://singer-d.livejournal.com/). The Faith/Giles parts are for [](http://empressvesica.livejournal.com/profile)[**empressvesica**](http://empressvesica.livejournal.com/). [](http://bastardsnow.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://bastardsnow.livejournal.com/)**bastardsnow** seemed very happy about the idea of the gang playing a game of "Never Have I Ever."

**Willow**  
"Never have I ever..." Willow trailed off. It was still early enough in the game that she was somewhat sober, so she thought about her turn carefully. She looked around the table and thought about what she might want to learn about the people there. After a moment, she settled on an idea. "Never have I ever made out with Xander," she called.

Xander groaned. "Will! You're killing me," he said.

Willow grinned and drank. "Well, bottoms up."

Xander shook his head and drank, too. Everyone stared.

"Masturbation don't count as making out," Faith said. "Does it?"

Giles groaned and removed his glasses, but said nothing.

"No, remember that whole body-double Toth thing?" Xander said. "Well, Anya--"

"And we can stop right there," Buffy cut in. "Anyone else for making out with Xander?"

Faith raised her shot glass. "Guilty right here," she said, and tossed it back. The Slayers, due to faster metabolism, got to do shots while the others simply drank from their respective beverage of choice.

"Umm..." Dawn said. Looking a little sheepish, she took a quick swallow of her wine.

"What?" Buffy said. "You? But, you--"

"Got drunk in Italy," Dawn said.

Willow smiled. Her turn brought quite the revelations indeed. "Buffy? Giles?"

"Well," Buffy said, "I think I'm the only girl he hasn--"

She cut off, again, as Giles slowly and silently raised his glass. He looked around at everyone's shocked faces, then chuckled. "Oh, dear Lord, if you lot could see your faces now," he said, and lowered his glass.

They were all quiet for a moment. Faith spoke first. "Damn. If that was true, I was gonna have to go to my room for some alone time."

"Right there with you," Willow muttered under her breath.

:#:

**Buffy**  
"Never have I ever..." Buffy wracked her brain for ideas, but nothing came. Well, plenty of stuff came, but nothing good. She sighed. "All my good ones are trumped by current company," Buffy said. "I mean, usually 'Diverted an apocalypse,' is quite the crowd-pleaser, but you guys are totally all ho-hum about that."

"Well, you've died more than anyone else," Faith offered.

"True," Buffy said. Her face lit up. "Ooh, does CPR count as making out with Xander?"

"No," Willow, Faith, and Dawn all said together.

"We can make out now, if you want credit," Xander offered.

"No, way -- you've kissed my little sister, you're totally off-limits!"

Xander sighed melodramatically. "Dawn, it appears you are my last and only hope of becoming a Summers. Let the wooing begin."

Dawn laughed. "I tell you what, Xander. If I'm still single when I turn forty, I'll marry you."

"Ooh, goody, I get to be your anti-spinster backup plan."

Buffy kicked back a shot and held the empty glass up in a salute. "Never have I ever had to listen to my sister and best friend plan to marry to avoid growing old alone."

Dawn shrugged. "Well, Janice came out of the closet a few years ago, and she always thought you were super-hot. I'm sure she'd take you."

Buffy groaned. "Somebody pour me another shot. No, wait -- just give me the bottle."

:#:

**Dawn**  
"Never have I ever..." Dawn leaned back in her chair and considered. Buffy insisted she go next, after Dawn listed out all her female friends as potential backup marriage plans, so Dawn felt she should choose something which would again irk Buffy. After all, what were little sisters for? "Never have I ever had a one-night stand," she said.

Buffy smacked her in the face with a throw pillow before she drank.

Xander held up his bottle and saluted Faith. "To the most well-spent ten minutes of your life," he said. Faith laughed, clinked her shot glass against his beer, and they drank together.

"Aren't we supposed to do more than one if we break the never-have-I-ever a lot or something?" Buffy asked.

"If you want to kill me, B, just do it the traditional way," Faith joked. "Alcohol poisoning is for sissies."

Buffy shook her head. "No, I just mean--"

"Technically, Buffy's had more than one," Xander cut in.

"What? I think I'd remember that," Buffy said, "it being me and all."

"While it wasn't the traditional circumstances, I'll admit, you did only do it the one time with Angel," Xander said. "So Deadboy and Parker, I think you're double-fisting it here, Buff."

"Ooh, I hate you," Buffy said.

"Hey! Potential future brother-in-law you're talking to, here," Xander said.

"I hate to break this up, but one-to-one's gonna have me in the hospital," Faith said.

"How about one to, say, fifteen," Dawn suggested.

Faith thought for a second. "Yeah, I can do that. Bartender, pour me three, _per favore_."

"And I have one," Dawn said. Right as Buffy drank her shot.

Tequila sprayed over the table as Buffy sputtered, "What? Dawn!"

Dawn grinned. "Once again, lived in Rome for a while," she said.

"This wasn't with Xander, was it?"

Dawn shook her head. "No, it wasn't with Xander." Xander had stayed the entire weekend, and had only left to go back to Africa. That was three and a half years ago, and the last time she saw him until just a few days ago. Dawn looked over at him and smiled; his face turned a bit red, as she caught him looking at him, but he smiled back even as he looked away.

"Are you sure?" Buffy said.

"I think I'd remember that, it being me and all," Dawn responded.

"What about you, Giles?" Xander said. "We still haven't heard much of the torrid affairs of your youth."

"One for every fifteen?" Giles asked. Everyone nodded. He bypassed his glass and picked up the bottle of Scotch, and started to drink.

After a few seconds, Dawn hastily reached out and pulled the bottle away. "Okay, yes, in a band in the mid-seventies," she said. "We get it."

"Am I the only one here who hasn't had a one-night stand?" Willow asked. "I feel so... Old Reliable."

"Will--" Buffy started.

"I'll sacrifice my body to your one-night stand," Faith said. Willow gaped at her, and Faith smirked. "I can do this--" she stuck out her tongue and wiggled it, "--for hours."

After a moment, Xander said, "Okay, see, now _I_ might have to go spend some alone time in my room."

Giles cleared his throat, but said nothing.

:#:

**Xander**  
"Never have I ever..." Xander paused to consider. There were several different approaches he could take here, after all. He could make up something ridiculous that would get everyone laughing and drinking; he could bring up an achievement from the past; he could continue the gradually sexual tendency the game had developed. Actually, that last one sounded very appealing to him.

But everyone else seemed to have their own ideas for what he should call.

"Botched a love spell so it made everyone in the whole city love you!" Willow suggested as Xander paused.

"Stole a rocket launcher from the Army," Buffy offered.

"Had to counsel a Slayer who got her powers while giving her first blowjob," Dawn said.

Xander glared at Dawn -- that was not a fun memory.

"Spent the entirety of two-thousand-six only going on dates with women whom we eventually had to slay," Giles said.

"Et tu, Giles?"

"I could keep going," Giles offered.

"That was a fun year," Faith said, still stuck in 2006, evidently. "You remember that crazy ninja assassin lady?"

Xander's head made a dull thump as it struck the table.

"Ohmygod," Buffy gushed. "That one was great! She shot that green mist stuff out of her mouth--"

"No, no, that was the Lukusath demon," Dawn corrected.

"I thought that was the one with the tail," Willow said.

"No, that was the Curmian," Giles said. "The Lukusath induced hallucinations with the mist."

"So what did the ninja assassin do?" Buffy asked.

"She insisted on the double-date with Faith because she had to kill Xander's first in order to get pregnant by him," Dawn said.

"That's right!" Buffy said. "She's the one -- you broke her sword!"

Faith grinned and nodded. "Some kick-ass slaying, if I do say so myself."

Xander raised his bottle, and everyone stopped joking to look at him. "Never have I ever had my love life mocked by the biggest group of black pots and kettles in the entire universe," he said.

The rest of the group thought about that for a moment.

"Shit, I'll drink to that," Faith said. She clinked her shot glass against Xander's bottle, and the rest of the group murmured their agreement and raised drinks in a toast.

:#:

**Faith**  
"Never have I ever stolen a car and joy-ridden to the shore with my friends, then gone skinny-dipping even though it was December and the water was freezing," Faith said. Why bother thinking about it, she figured -- everyone else seemed to think it all mattered or something, but it was just a game.

The rest of the group stared at her blankly.

"We stole a Winnebago once," Buffy said. "Does that count?"

"You went joy-riding in a Winnebago?"

"Uh, no," Xander said. "We were running from a hellgod who tried to kill Dawn."

"And the knights on horseback who wanted to kill her to prevent it from happening," Buffy added.

"Kill me, not the hellgod," Dawn clarified.

"Right." Faith looked at them skeptically. "Horseback?"

"Yeah." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Not the brightest guys on Earth."

"Clearly." Faith looked around at everyone else at the table. "So, uh, I guess my childhood was a bit different from you guys."

Giles shrugged and raised his glass. "Well, it was January, but the rest is much the same."

He drank, and Faith grinned. "Giles, you rock my world sometimes."

"We know," Buffy, Dawn, Willow, and Xander all said together.

Faith just grinned and shrugged; Giles groaned and removed his glasses.

:#:

**Giles**  
"Never have I ever..." _Played this ridiculous game with five people all barely more than half my age_ , Giles thought. Still, it was a good way to relax with friends and unwind, and it was nice to see the others behaving in such a carefree manner. Besides, he was nearly drunk enough that the idea of another night with Faith didn't send him stammering and blushing away from the table.

Giles smiled. This reaction could prove interesting. "Never have I ever performed on stage in front of an audience."

Buffy, Willow, and Xander all immediately glared at Giles, while Dawn burst out laughing. Faith just looked confused.

"No fair!" Willow said. "Totally no fair. You still have groupies at the Espresso Pump, and you didn't sing there for two years before Sunnydale went boom!"

"No way," Faith said. "Giles can sing?"

Xander rolled his eyes. Buffy and Willow both sighed and looked at Faith. "Oh, God, yes," Willow said emphatically.

Faith looked at Giles and raised an eyebrow. "How come I never knew about this?" Giles just smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, G. You might have to sing me to sleep tonight or something."

_Drunk enough_? Giles thought. _Sure, why not_. "I must confess disappointment you intend to leave me with breath enough for song," he said.

Dawn stopped laughing.

Faith's eyes widened slightly, and she smiled. "How about you just sing me to bed, and we'll go from there?" she said.

"Hey, wait," Willow protested. "What about sacrificing your body?"

Faith stood up and walked to the doorway, where she posed against the frame. "Can you sing? With an accent?"

Willow whimpered. "No."

Giles rose and followed Faith to the door. He leaned over and, his mouth only millimeters from her ear, started to sing softly. Faith's eyes glazed over for a moment; then, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged the two of them out of there.

Buffy sighed. "Well, there goes any chance of falling asleep for the next three hours," she grumbled. Willow grunted agreement. "So, are you guys-- Guys?"

Willow and Buffy looked around, but they were the only two in the room.

"Did Xander and Dawn just use Giles and Faith as a distraction to sneak out on us?" Willow asked.

Buffy nodded. "I think so." She shrugged. "Well, they did have that weekend together just before Xander left last time. Maybe this time, with him staying, they can see if something serious develops."

"You mean, you knew about that?"

Buffy laughed. "Yeah, of course."

"Huh." Willow thought about that for a moment. "So, the surprise about the smoochies earlier?"

Buffy nodded. "Just an act."

Willow nodded, too. And then they sat together in silence.

"So, uh, Will?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah?"

"Umm..."

"Yeah?"

"I, uh... Well..."

Willow sighed. "Just out with it, Buffy."

"Okay." Buffy took a deep breath and looked down at the table. "How about I sacrifice my body in place of Faith tonight?"

"Huh?" Willow looked at Buffy, confused. Then her eyes got big. "Oh! OH! Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Umm... Yes."

Buffy looked up and grinned. "Yes?" Willow nodded. Buffy smiled. "I bet I can get you to scream louder than Faith."

Willow laughed and held up her hands. "No, that's my job," she said. "Magic hands, remember?"

The two old friends grinned at one another for a moment, then stood and hurried upstairs.

-:-


End file.
